My last journal said that things were finally returning to normal. Sometimes things don't always go as planned.
In the spring of 2012 my grandfather's health started to deteriorate. He was put on oxygen. At first he had a little carrier and a small container to use to refill it. He only used it when he needed it, During the holidays he started to get worse. Not a chair in the world was comfortable, everything took too long, could no longer nor wanted to drive. Everything that used to be easy was becoming more difficult and after that impossible. He changed from a man that I thought would always smile to the man that rarely did. Depression set in, he never wanted to leave the house, he never wanted to do anything that might keep his mind off...things.
Near the end of February, just a day after his birthday, he was admitted to the hospital. I, that day had decided to go and visit my grandparents as I did every week. I got to the house and rang the doorbell. The living room curtains hadn't be drawn shut, and just outside, there was an aroma of dinner cooking. Nobody answered. I circled around the house to the back door... it was locked. I guessed that maybe they had just gone out to visit someone. I called the house a bit later. 7 pm, 8 pm, still no answer. So I went back checked the house to make sure they were okay. Anxiety set in... I must have driven past the house and the hospital 7 times. I didn't see their car. My mind started shifting into the horrible possibilities. I didn't know what I'd do if something had happened to them. (On my grandpa's birthday I sort of fled in to the front room crying, because I was so distraught over my grandfathers health. He called me into the room and comforted me, telling me that he'd be around a long time yet, crying as he told me this.) At 11pm I got a call from my grandmother saying that she was sorry that she hadn't gotten a hold of me earlier and that my grandpa was in the hospital after his breathing had become worse.
I spent the next week in the hospital with my grandpa and grandma. I was there everyday. I bought him a model eagle to watch over him while he slept. (He didn't want us to stay in the hospital overnight with him, so I improvised.) He made sure that eagle was kept close by. He was supposed to have been out after a few days, but the days soon turned into a full week. I stayed the night at my grandparents the first day he was supposed to have gotten out. On April 17th in the early hours of the morning, the person I admired the most passed away. The days after the hospital leading up to that day, were some of the hardest days of my life thus far. My emotions were bent ways I couldn't have imagined.